Emotional Healing

How to heal fear and see the beauty in life?

Trouble breathing? Heart razing? Thoughts that scare you? Shakes and uncomfort from simply being in your body? Felling unable to do anything in your life? A lot of thoughts that continue and take all your energy? Maybe you heard yourself thinking:” what if this happens” or” what if I can’t do anything to change or stop this?”

 That is fear talking to you

Fear is here to remind you to love yourself more not less

Fear shows up in your life when you feel unsafe and out of control with the circumstances around you.

A good example. You are stuck in lockdown in a country you don’t like, and there is nothing you can do about it. Because your nervous system is triggered by the lack of control over your situation. The emotion of fear arises. Your nervous system starts to be active, you breathe faster, your heart beath faster, you shake and you want out of the situation. This takes you out of the present moment, and you start to dream about the future.

Fear is a direct symptom of you not being present and not expressing your enthusiasm about life. When you are in fear you focus on what you want instead of what you have. Instead of accepting the situation of lockdown, you worry!

You can’t be in the present moment when you feel fear, you are thinking about the past or the future. Therefor to heal it, you need to train yourself to notice the beauty in life and being grateful for what you have.

This is just like everything else, a practice. You train your mind to focus on it and over time it becomes natural.

But how do we find gratitude that without neglecting our experience of fear?

A good simple way is to breathe deeply and notice the safety around you fx how safe you are sitting in a chair doing nothing and asking your mind to find everything that makes you safe.

When you feel safe you automatically become more grounded and less afraid. Once that happens you can again make conscious dictions and live your life.

Fear and the programming of the ego

Fear is an emotion connected to a protective mechanism controlled by the nerve system. The sympathetic nervous system is your fight or flight response, which is programmed to protect you, and the parasympathetic nervous system is activated when it’s time to relax and safe. which regulates your digestion, detox and sleep. The ego’s job is to determine if its time to feel safe or unsafe. In other words, it activates the fight or flight mode.

During your life, your ego has copied belief systems about when you are safe, and when you are not safe. It has learned from your surroundings fx parents and society what is a good safe situation and what is not. It remembers past experiences and determines if it’s necessary to protect you or not. It analyses all available information form the past future and present and determines if there is a need for protection.

But what it hasn’t learned is to look for beauty and safety.

Subconsciously your mind has been programmed by your life conditionings and the collective unconscious to always look for ways to be ahead. To not feel pain and suffering, it is like a guard dog trying to protect you, but thinking that it can control your life.

That’s why when you are in a situation where you have no control. You feel fear. The ego is “triggered”, and it does not like to not be in control, because it can’t protect you. You start to remember all the past times you felt unsafe, fearful, and sometimes anxiety. The ego thinks that if it can just get you out of the situation you are in you will automatically feel better.

But! how you feel is not determined by the situation you are in! And you are never in contron of the curcumstanses of your life. You have free will, but your free will is how you deal with everything that happens in your life and how consius you are when you make choises, if you make them from fear or thrust.

Emotional contracts

We all come here with past life’s, karma, and something called “emotional contracts”. The contracts decide how long time you need to spend with different emotions. Once you have experienced and spent time with the emotion stated in the contract, you will be free of it.

Sometimes the emotion returns, but not to the same extent and it can be as a reminder. You never know how long time you need to spent with each emotion. But the longer time you resist feeling it, the longer you will spend with it. When we don’t release our emotion the universe will create situations that trigger the emotion to help us feel it.

When the emotion that we keep feeling is fear the challenge is to not get lost in the future or in the past. But instead to find the beauty in the present moment. Fear is a basic human emotion connected to our survival, therefore it can be very difficult to overcome. So in order to feel fear, you need time alone where you love yourself, love your ego, and the part that feel fear!

To heal you need to feel

It is true that on a higher level on the spiritual path it is important to not be controlled by the mind and emotions. But repressing your emotions will actually make you feel even worse.

Therefore, the first level of healing yourself and becoming a spiritual master is to feel your emotions, to feel fear, and find out why it is there. After feeling the emotion you try to find out what you need in your life in order for you to not repeat the same pattern.

The ancient meditation methods to cultivate stillness and pass emotions are excellent ways of finding the deep truth in life. But they are not always helpful in healing and emotion.  Sometimes what you need is to be with yourself and feel.

Over time your ego will become familiar with fear, if you will see that life without it is not possible. Instead, it will say: “Hello fear. I see you but I chose love and trust in the universe.” When you are able to sit and consciously love the part of you who are afraid and feel unsafe. You have become the master.

Fear affects your kidneys and Qi lifeforce energy

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) all emotions originate from the heart and depending on the emotion, it goes to different organs. Fear and anxiety go to the kidneys and depending on the situation, also to your liver and spleen.

In the kidneys lie your lifeforce energy Qi both prenatal and natal Qi. This means the light inside you that determines your health, how old you get, and how much energy you have.

It is here your ”Jing” life fluids blood, saliva, and water are stored. When you feel fear your survival is threatened, and if it is there for longer periods of time, it’s not good for your lifeforce energy and your kidneys. You are at higher risk to become sick or get stressed.

In TCM the most important to heal the kidney Qi is to find relaxation and safety. Anything that can make you feel safe to be in your body and accept the situation you are in.

It’s also very important to breathe deeply. When we have fear we start to breathe in the top of the lungs which means the kidneys become ”cold” and the pericardium had less blood circulation. So taking deep breaths all the way to the kidney area can be very healing for both body and mind.

How to heal your kidneys Lifeforce energy – Qi

  • Drink only warm/hot water and more than usual & make sure you get enough salt, you can add a pit of Himalayan salt to your hot water.
  • Meditate on your Lower Dantien
  • Take warm showers, and avoid cold showers
  • Massage your ears with lavender oil before bed and sleep before 11 pm
  • Eat red kidney beans, lentils, miso-soups, tofu, Blueberries, blackberries, mulberry, black sesame, Walnuts & Millet
  • Practice yoga Nidra for deep relaxation

Exercise to release fear

Step 1 – Find safety & beauty

Start by sitting down in a place where you feel safe & calm.

Feel the seat under you and your feet on the ground.

Take 3 deep breaths inhaling through the nose exhaling through the mouth.

Then you say with enthusiasm:

” At this moment I feel fear and I am overthinking everything, and even though I know thinking won’t change anything. I am doing it anyway.

 I am surprisingly good at thinking, and yet I don’t know how to get out of my current state of fear, that is making me overthink.

so I call upon the universe to work through me and guide me into alignment with my highest self, who don’t worry about anything and open my heart to flow with love.

“For the wellbeing of all that I am now and so it is”.

Step 2 – Find Relaxation

Then you take one hand to your heart and say:

”Everything I do is right and nothing is wrong with me” 5 times

”Nothing is wrong with me and everything I do is right” 5 times

Take 3 deep breaths and feel your body.

Then you look around you and you start finding beauty: look at the sky, the flowers, your body and with enthusiasm tell it how beautiful and amazing it all is, just from being there.

Step 3 – Love Yourself

Then, in the end, you take the right hand to the heart and you take 3 deep breaths. And you say:

”its okay” 10 times, Then you say. It’s okay you feel this way, what happened is not okay. But it’s okay to feel exactly what you feel.

Then you say: ”I love you” 10 times.

And in the very end, you ask your inner self: ”What do you need from me in order to feel safer? What do you need from me, how can I show you, my love?”.

For Dao Yin Yoga Teachers: Dao Yin Yoga to heal fear

Child pose with hand in namaste, arms overhead, Pillar of earth, eagle arms child, stomach rest + leg out to the side (hug the earth), half-butterfly, butterfly, caterpillar, Arms overhead pinkie fingers together, constructive rest, Shavasana, Datien Meditation

Love & Light

Anemone

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