When you walk into a room, do you automatically know how other people are feeling? Or maybe, you always fear when someone is angry at you?
Since I was a child I felt what other people around me were feeling. I was very good at adjusting conversations depending on how people were feeling and acting. I actually always wanted to make people happy. Especially when I felt that they were not. Sometimes I even played a game with my self trying to see if I would figure out what others were thinking.
I would say to my brother:
“Don’t worry we will get to go outside to play soon.” He would look at me with big eyes of comfort and say “okay I can wait”. Asking in this way showed me that what I felt was going on inside him, was correct.
Until I was in my early teenage years I actually thought it was normal to feel as much as I was. But when I learned that I was different I started to shut it down. I didn’t want to be too different. And I had also started to get overwhelmed by everyone’s problems and feelings.
I felt it was too much and for many years I lived more in my mind than in my emotions. I started experiencing chronic pain which I suffered from for more than 10 years.
I want to make clear that when I started on my spiritual path I didn’t know anything about being an empath. I just experienced that I was very sensitive. It wasn’t until I found my teacher Matt Kahn that I understood, that not everyone has the ability to naturally empath others, but that they can learn it.
The Empathic Nature of compassion
So what is an empath? It is a person who is automatically open, compassionate, and empathic with everyone and everything around them.
The nature of human beings is to be empathic. Empathy is the expression of compassion in human form. But because of how we grow up and the conditioning in society, we shut it down in different degrees.
So what we call an “empath” is a person, who has not shut down this ability and a person who naturally feels and helps other people without effort.
To sum up, what I have learned from my own experience, the clients I heal, my friends and soul family, and from my teacher Matt Kahn.
To be an empath generally means that:
- You feel what other people around you are feeling
- You feel pain and suffering from other people in your own body and mind
- You love mother earth all plants, animals, and humans
- You feel bad if someone is angry or upset at you, and you automatically think it’s because something is wrong with you
- You start to take on everybody’s problems on you and wanting to make them feel better
- You get easily affected by the collective unconscious (the emotions created from all humans on the planet)
- You are very emotional in general, and sometimes you become the slave of your negative emotions, you simply want them to go away
If you are an empath: You don’t have any practice to balance your self or understanding how to use your power. It can drain you, control you and you will feel suffering.
If you are not an empath: It is something you can train. You can become better at understanding and feeling compassion for other people. This will also mean that your spiritual path will look different than a person who is already an empath.
“When I was working as an Occupational Therapist in psychiatry I was very loved by my colleges and my clients. They loved spending time with me. And I also loved spending time with them. But each time I after having had a client I would feel horrible. I cried every day, had panic attacks and my mind always tried to find reasons for why I felt bad. Maybe it was the work, my past, or even something I did wrong?
Later in life when I knew that I was an empath I started to see my life in a completely different way. The reason I felt bad when I worked with mentally ill people was that I naturally “took” their suffering on me. There was a part of my energy that unconsciously would start to feel how they felt and heal it by feeling it.“
But I was not aware of what was going on. So I ended up feeling very bad about my job. Which had been my dream job for more than 5 years. I ended up quitting the job it to protect myself. But I didn’t learn anything about myself. I was diagnosed with stress and anxiety and had a lot of fear in my system”
“I became the victim of my own sensitivity”
The typical ego structure of an empath
Your ego part of your mind connected with your conditioned personality and nervous system. Your ego can be different degrees of Superior or Inferior. Most of the ancient spiritual teachings and practices are to balance the superior ego.
The superior ego: When your ego is superior you feel like you are better than everyone else, you always have the right answer and that you don’t need anyone’s help. When this is your tendency. You naturally feel better than everyone else, and it is not easy to feel empathy with others. When do you see others suffer you will automatically focus on yourself and why they can’t see that you suffer too, or you will wonder why they simply don’t thrust themself and start to feel better?
The inferior ego: When your ego is inferior you feel unworthy, like a victim of your life circumstances and like you are never good enough. When you victimize yourself you start to focus on negative emotions and feel what everyone else is feeling and it drains you form energy. You can go into fear from the world and you don’t understand “why this is happening to me”.
The highest self: Is beyond the ego, it exists between the two ego structures and it is where your intuition and alignment with the universe exist. Depending on which kind of ego structure you have, what you need to work on in yourself will be different.
“So now you can just try to ask yourself, what kind of ego structure you experience the most? And what you need in order to balance your ego and either be more empathic or not be the slave of your own empathic abilities?“
Empath with an inferior ego
Most people who are empathic by nature have an inferior ego because they felt more than they could handle from when they were very young. These amazing beings are so filled with love and compassion for all beings that just being near them brings you into a better mood.
When we are empaths with an inferior ego we have the tendency to feel the sufferings of the world and we mistake others’ emotions and energy for our own. We are just like a soap bubble floating in the air, controlled by the wind going up and down.
“Sometimes when I sit next to people I will start to feel pain in different places in my body and I will start to feel different emotions. It can be sadness or fear. Over time I have learned to either send it through me and into the light, back to the person or to ask the person how they feel and offer advice.”
“But for so many years of my life, I would just feel pain, sadness, and fear. I would go to my room and cry for hours. Sometimes I would feel the suffering form the whole world. And I was the slave of this suffering. So my paths were to find out how to stop being a victim. And to start using my feelings as a superpower”.
Step by step every day I healed myself with love
Some days I wake up, and I feel like something in my heart is very wrong, as if something really bad happened to me. What I have learned over time, is to tune into the exact place where I feel the energy or emotion and talk with it. I try to find out if it is coming from my self or form the outside. When I have located it, I say:
“Hey, It’s okay you feel this way, what do you need in order to be set free? And after that, I give it what it needs, and say I LOVE YOU. Then I ask the universe to release the energy through me. To send it back to the light and let the emotion be heald in me and in this way for everyone.
I started creating a daily routine where I talked with my own inferior ego. I would say stuff like, “You are amazing” “There is nothing wrong with you” “Everything I do is right” and always end with “I love you”
When you have an inferior ego, in the core of your belief system. You feel unworthy of love. So consciously sitting and giving love to exactly that part brings you back into balance with your highest self.
Your path in this life is to get out of victimhood, own your own power, and shine your light upon the world.
Make empathy your superpower!
On the old spiritual path, the goal was to be empathic and show compassion with all sentient beings. As an empath, you are already there. You just didn’t know it.
It took me 30 years to learn in balance with being an empath. But today I truly see it as my superpower. When I walk in the streets in a crowded city or I am with my close family and friends. Just my presents are healing for the people around me. And I always ask the universe to use me as a vessel for divine light of love to flow through me and heal everyone in the radius of my energy field.
In the beginning I didn’t really believe that this would work. But after just one month of this practice magic started to happen. I would walk into a store and people would spontaneously start to cry or laugh, my yoga students would start to tell me that they saw light around them in my classes and my symptoms of empathing started to be less and less.
The best part is that if someone I know has any kind of problem I can really help them without taking their pain into my body and energy field. And the way I heal people heal is extremely effective because I can empath what they need and go directly to the core issue. If that is not a superpower I don’t know what is 🙂
Trees steps towards your superpower
The first step to making empathy for your superpower is to get out of victimhood and start loving yourself. I start every day with a hand on my heart, feeling and saying to myself “I love you” until I feel my heart opens to receive love.
The second step is to start to anchor light, to allow the universe and divine light of love to flow through you. It will help you to be on your own energy. When you are in the light you automatically give and share the light with those who need it instead of taking on yourself. You become the space in which the light flow through and help people around you.
The third step is to own your power and energy. So that when you have an emotion you are able to consciously sit with it feel it and heal it. When you can do that you start to not only heal your self, but everyone.
Once you own your own power and you are no longer afraid of it. You can start to consciously use it to heal yourself and others. I know emotions can hurt but the more you love yourself, the more you can sit with the emotion and let it flow through you.
Anchoring the light is your healing superpower
As empaths, a part of our awakening process is to realize that all the emotions we feel are something ready to meet the light, and be sent home. Back to where it came from. But to heal you need to feel.
At the moment you start to aline your self with the light and with your highest self you will start to empath others less and instead, you will feel their suffering. You will be able to feel exactly what and how they feel and with compassion help them heal it.
This can be by consciously listening with an open heart to what they have been through or it can be to simply tell them. I am sorry for your pain. The more light you anchor the more people you will help.
Good luck on your healing journey dear empath. I hope this article was helpful and insightful for your journey ahead.